Friday, September 7, 2012

"Go Confidently in the Direction of your Dreams. Live the Life you have imagined." - Thoreau

Spartan Shape-Up, Day 414:

I think I finally figured out... like really internalized, what it means to Spartan the Eff Up (STFU).

Today, I'm at work, whiling away the hours until I am released into the wild and can begin my Spartan Weekend with a road-trip to the Super in NJ. Periodically, throughout the day, I browse FaceBook, blogs and tweets of my fellow racer, etc. Most days, I find this majorly motivating; when I'm feeling lazy, I read about other people's killer WODs and get my ass in gear. When I'm feeling really hyped up, I can spread that around to others that might need a shot of motivation.

Today, however.... I'm nervous. (Thanks, FaceBook.)

The last few days I've been hearing rumors of the difficulty of this upcoming NJ course, which I usually chalk up to hype and rumors to get the crowd going, and am generally unconcerned. But in the last couple of days, thanks to a few site-pictures from Spartan Staffer, Tommy Mac, I find myself......... plauged with nagging worry. For those that know me, I'm generally low-stress, but really embracing Aja 2.0 and understanding my new physical capabilities is still a learning curve for me. When facing the 10 mile course, with a bunch of new obstacles that I have no idea how I'm going to handle, my FCS (Fat Chick Syndrome) flairs up a little bit and I start wondering - ever so slightly - if I can do it. What have I gotten myself in to?

Thanks to some encouragement from the GT and an effort of mental will, I hit a hard restart on my Spartan Self and reminded myself of the motto: "Sign up. Show Up. Never Give Up." So, maybe I'll be confronted with obstacles I've never seen before. It's not that long enough that I'd never seen ANY of it before. So what if it's 10 miles up a mountain? I'll walk. If I can't walk, I'll crawl. If I can't crawl.... well, I'll wait for a burly spartan to come along and buddy carry me! So, maybe I'm not going to know if my body will tackle an obstacle the way I imagine. Well, I can enlist the help of my on-course Spartans (of which there will be many at my time slot, it seems!), or if all else fails, I'll take my 30 burpees and learn for next time. There is always a way, if you get your mind in the right space.

Today, I put that FCS back in it's place.
Today, I reminded myself that "our deepest fear is that we are capable beyond measure."
Today, I decided to face my fears.
Today, I aknowledged that I am nervous, but charging forward anyway.
Today, I know I will cross that finish line, come hell or high water....... and really, both of those things may happen this weekend....

TODAY, I Spartan'd Up.

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