"I don't care about the weight on the scale - what's the weight on the bar?!"

So, as promised Blogland, this week I got to work with some new stuff - despite being a little sick.
I apparently got this annoying sort of head cold thing that hit me hard for like 24 hours, but was just a nagging stuffy sinus and such for a few days before and after. Happy to report I feel pretty much 100% again, going into this weekend (YAY!).

After spending Sunday recuperating from the powerlifting meet and trying to ward off the pending sickness with a lot of hot tea and good food, Monday meant I was back at it!

We officially started the Couch to 5K program. WOO! For me, I should probably put an (again) at the end of that sentence, but really just semantics, right?

Holly (who's fault this round of C25K is), Stacey and I got together and prepared for battle. Day 1 always seems like the hardest to me, as you're filled with "the unknown"... like, you don't know what it's going to be like, if you can do it, etc. etc.etc.... just question marks. But, I told myself that I should STFU, as at least I'd done this before and more or less knew what to expect (and knew I could do it), whereas Holly was on her first round of this program EVER. She was the only one who got to be nervous on Day 1.

Despite "waiting until Spring" to start our C25K, April 4th graced us with 32 degree temperatures, snow in the air, and ice on the ground. This is not the ideal way I'd introduce a budding runner to running... but, at least it'd all be better from there?

Day 1: 32 degrees and icy! DONE!

I was set up to be the "pacer" for this running expedition, who'd note the walk and jog segments. That's a big responsibility people. Try not to run to fast, don't run too slow, geesh. Since it was Day 1, I went at a real easy 13ish minute pace, so everyone could figure out where we were at. I'm happy to report that (despite dodging ice puddles), I was easily able to complete the minute intervals of running that Day 1 required. Perhaps all my worrying about being so huge and running were unfounded?

Stacey, our entertainment for the run, kept us all laughing and amused, while we got through the work. Holly - our newbie - completed D1 like a boss, with no complaints, no real struggles, and all smiles at the end (maybe I didn't run fast enough!?). Mission accomplished!

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I took it easy on CrossFit this week, as my body/breathing just weren't up to speed, but Holly and I then caught at Zumba class on Wednesday.

I admit... I phoned that one in HARD. I thought I felt okay going into it, but as soon as we started moving, my body was like EFFFF this. I had no ooomph, definitely no jumpy-jumpy's, and zero sass. I gave it all I had at that moment... which was probably like 50% of normal. I still got the blood moving a little bit for like 55 minutes, broke a little bit of a sweat... but man, that was rough. Sometimes, Blogland, it's just about showing up and going through the motions.
I definitely went home, hydrated a lot, and then went to bed super early. Always listen to your body!!!

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I woke up Thursday morning feeling 100% better. Nothing like a good sleep (and a lot of tea with honey) to get you fixed up.

Holly modeling "monsoon wear"

Still took it easy and skipped bootcamp and such, but Thursday was slated for Day 2 of C25k, so I dutifully spandexed up for an easy romp through the cool weather. It was only drizzling on and off when we started, so all seemed well. I generally find it pleasant running in the rain, as did Holly and Stacy, so it seemed like it was going to be a good day.

D2 is the same workout as D1, so there were a lot less nerves going into this one. We'd all done day 1, we just needed to do it again! Inadvertently, I set a bit of a faster pace (around a 12 min/mile) this time, driven on by the rain I think. Nonetheless, my partners in crime kept right up and we completed our session without incidents or complaints, under a slightly rainy and grey sky.

Where we run is about 1/4 mile walk away from Holly's house. We had literally reached the end of our path, could see her house a 1/4 mile in the distance.... and the sky opened up.

This is my, "shit, it's sleeting!" face

Wk 1, Day 2: DONE! (with the pelting rain in the back...)

The rain (now cold) was driving down and blowing nearly sideways, soaking us through, in a matter of seconds. As we rushed for cover (Holly said, "I think I've got one more run interval in me!!"), it began to solidify and pelt us with sleet? hail? That was... not comfortable.  Seriously, at risk of sounding cliche, it was coming down in BUCKETS. The jacket that was "water resistant" enough to keep out the light rain we'd be running through, suddenly took on water like the Titanic, soaking me to the skin.
Thankfully, Holly's mom pulled up in her car to rescue us! YAY!
We were definitely wet, and getting cold... but Wk 1, Day 2 - DONE!

 Tomorrow, we take on Day 3 to finish out our first week and I couldn't be happier. It feels really good to be out running again (Dare I say, I missed it?). It is also nowhere near as awful feeling as I thought it was going to be at this weight. Just goes to show you people, you can run/get fit/workout at whatever weight you want, as long as you pick the right plan. So far, C25K has been really accessible and the intervals gradually get longer, so you have plenty of time to adjust. Assuming I stay on plan, we should finish up around mid-June and start prepping for a 5K race milestone! (MORE MEDALS!!!!!! AND T-SHIRTS!!!!)

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After a mild week, with just a little C25K, today it was back at it, with a training session with Robyn.

First off, let's talk about the important things. I got to me the newest addition to the gym - Spealler - a 7 wk old lab puppy.

SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

Sparing you most of the gushy details, I definitely smushed his face, rubbed his belly and laughed at his silly puppy run. This little goober will definitely not be short of adoring fans, as I'm pretty sure I saw every person there stop to pet him. #GymDogs are the best. Instant mood-boost for the day!

Continuing on our quest to wreck my shoulders (and maybe make me less t-rex-y), Robyn started us out with some ascending weight complexes.... Push Press, Push Jerk, Split Jerk. Worked up to a solid 130-ish, I believe (limited by the push press), but it was not without stupid moments. I swear, my brain was on short circuit today. Definitely had to concentrate hard to clean up my Split Jerk, which is not an intuitive movement for me. Dear Right Foot, I really need to step BACK with you, before good 'ol Left Foot jumps the gun and steps to center first. Geesh.
Nonetheless, it felt good to be pushing around some weight again (even if it was overhead...). My shoulders and back muscles definitely feel as though we did something....

Never one to leave me without a healthy dose of Cardio for the day, Robyn threw in a 14 min AMRAP:
30-20-10
Wall Balls (14#)
Sit Ups
90-60-30
Jump rope

So, what that means is Round 1 was 30 WB, 30 Sit ups, 90 Jump rope... then 20 WB, 20 sit ups, 60 jump rope, etc.

This was..... unpleasant.

I should clarify. Wall Balls SUCK for me. Not because they are hard from a muscle standpoint (my legs are perfectly capable of squatting 14# and exploding up to toss it)... but DAMN if I am completely unable to breathe doing them.

I started out with an optimistic set of 15 out of 30, took a few deep breaths - still feelin' good! - and closed out those wall balls with another solid set of 15. Yeah. Nailed it.

You know what I found is really hard to do, when you can't breathe? Sit Ups. Followed by Jump ropes (although, I only tripped once, and did all of my sets as I planned to!).

As we entered the second round of wall balls ("Only" 20, right?!), I began to feel as though this is how I was going to die. I had set out to attack two sets of 10, when that quickly became a pipe dream. By 2 sets of 10, I clearly meant hope for 4 sets of 5 and Try Not To Die. When  jump rope is going to be your "rest time" you know it's going to be a rough one.

Round 3, I did a little celebration! Only 10-10-30 and then I would be done!! That breathed a little more life into my efforts.... only to realize that the clock was still going, and I definitely had a few minutes left. *long string of expletives*

Somehow, my mind had managed to deal with this workout by thinking that we'd just be DONE after we did 30-20-10..... but suddenly, here we were... back around at 30.

SURE my lungs were about to explode, I stepped up to do 30 more wall balls. They were not pretty, folks. Or fast. Or coordinated. BUT... they got done.
Miraculously, I even manged to get 12 deep into my next round of sit ups.

Thankfully, the clock saved me and I starfished HARD after this one.

My quads would like to keep reminding me that we did 90 wall balls today, and they're not happy about it. Meanwhile, my shoulder and back muscles feel like chiming in their two cents as well. Oh boy. Tomorrow might be reallll rough.

Tomorrow though, is wk 1, day THREE of our running program. The last run, before we can say we successfully completed Wk 1. WOO.

Sunday, it's back to Hatching out my Squats. It's definitely going to get interesting this time around with some bigger weight on the bar.... but, Hatch says I can, so I will.

With that, I'm off to find some food and perhaps a bit of foam rolling.... (I'm coming for you, Quads!)

'If you're bored with life - you don't get up every morning with a burning desire to do things - you don't have enough goals." - Lou Holtz

Well, Blogland... What's NEXT?!

The CrossFit Open is over, Spring is (almost...) upon us and it's exciting to think of what's coming up!

First, in less than 48 hours, I'll be competing in my first Powerlifting meet! I'm only doing two events - back squat and deadlift - instead of a full set, because I wasn't feeling totally confident in my bench press (Goal for the next meet: Do all three!). In retrospect, I should've just done it and it would've been fine, but eh, playing it safe for the first one is fine. My biggest goal was to just get there, deal with the fact I'd have to wear a singlet in person, and compete.

I'm feeling pretty good about it, overall - I've got a plan for my lifts (BS: 285, 305, 310 or 315... Deadlift: 320, 340, 350!), and I'm confident that I can do what I need to do. I have no expectations on the outcome of this meet, as the goal is just to go and DO IT.  My opening lifts are "safe" for me, so I know I'll have a score (and a decent one!) even if I only get that first lift. So... it's all gravy after that!
The biggest challenge will be rocking out with my spandex singlet.... whooa boy. For a fat kid, strutting around in a form fitting, not so flattering unitard outfit, while being judged.... yikes. Just YIKES.

BUT, I am reminding myself that I have done way harder things, and I have a lot to be proud of. Yeah, I'm wearing a spare tire around my middle, yes, I've got a little more jiggle everywhere than I'd like.... But! BUT! I have some #thickthighs that can squat 300#, which is what is on display this weekend - not my midsection! Plus, I have to say, while there are a lot of very trim and fit people in the powerlifting community, there are many of us more "thick" individuals who have found their strength in picking up heavy shit. I won't be alone with my jiggly middle!

That said, I've got big plans for the horizon, to continue on the journey back to a more comfortable weight. I feel like I've turned a new leaf (thank you, Spring!), because I'm actually just excited to do new things, not just looking at it as something I "need" to do to get weightloss.

For example, after my powerlifting comp, I'll be (re) starting the Couch to 5K program and get back in my running groove (I actually really miss it). I have to thank my BFF Holly for this one. She's been on her own journey, but expressed interest in trying to learn to run.... and she wanted me to do it with her. How can you say no to that? If she's willing to go out on a limb and try something she's never tried that's going to be hard, how can I not do it with her? So, I'm excited. On Monday, we do our first Week 1, Day 1. My wonderful man, Hans, is also going to join in on the fun (although he'll be doing it all over the east coast, while he travels for work). Last, but certainly not least, we've even got my long-time Battle Buddy, Stacey to get going again with us. Sounds like a party to me! One accounta-buddy is good... 3 Accounta-buddies are better!

I admit, I'm a little afraid of re-starting C25K. The first time I learned to run, I was about 40-50 pounds lighter than I am now (Wow. that hurts to write down.).... but at the same time, I wasn't as "fit" as I am now (Yes, it's possible to be super heavy and still have a decent amount of fitness). In the light of full disclosure, I'm terrified that I'm going to fail because I'm so heavy. I'm afraid that I won't be able to even do Day 1. I'm afraid that it's going to hurt, because my knees are shitty, etc..... BUT... I have at least learned over the last 4 years or so that you just can't let the fear stop you. You can't wait until a "better" time. There's never a better time, you're never going to be less afraid until you jump in. That's why I did the CrossFit Open this year. That's why I'm headed to Powerlifting. Yes, I'm bigger, but so effing what. I'm doing these things - are you?

AND... (more fun things!) my awesome gym just announced that it's Rowing month! Oddly, I actually kind of like rowing. So, I'm definitely looking forward to the little extra focus and motivation and team spirit to log a few extra meters every time I'm at the gym. I wonder how much I can row in a month??
I think it will complement lifting days and boot camp days just great!
#burnallthecalories

Maybe it's just the spring weather, or the increased light, but I'm definitely feeling more optimistic about moving forward, than I was over the winter (it was a tough winter this winter).

YAY!

"Sic Parvis Magna" - Greatness from Small Beginnings

... And So It Begins... Again.

Dear Blogland, 

It's been far too long. After a long string of illness and injury (and subsequent rehab), I finally find myself back in a place where I'm "healthy" and really ready to get back at it. I've got no more pain, no more excuses....... and exactly no motivation. I have a metric ton of goals and plans and desires, but lately - although I was itching for months to get back on my feet - I'm having trouble getting started. 

I was cruising along with amazing momentum last year, making huge progress, really turning myself into who I wanted to be..... then Life happened. Now, too many months later, I'm back to recommit and gather that momentum all over again. 

Recently, I've found myself sitting around, unhappy, not feeling energetic, distinctly feeling the 35 pounds I've put BACK on (Yes. 35. I want to poke my own eye out. However. It is what it is, and where I'm starting over.), and at a loss at what to do. How do I pick myself up again and get back on the right path towards health, fitness and a Spartan-esque lifestyle? I sat with this question for weeks, as I dabbled in sporadic exercise, but just couldn't get back into the routine. 

Finally, it hit me...Do what worked the first time. Last year, I lost over 90 pounds, was crazy strong, ran up to a half marathon, a Spartan Beast and had all sorts of adventures. THAT is where I want to get back to... so it would stand to reason that a good place to go is back to the start. That's where you come in, BlogLand. I realized that in my slump of a pity-party, I didn't write. I didn't tell you what was going on, and I certainly wasn't holding myself accountable (or letting you help me with that) for all the crap I was shoving in my face, all the workouts I was missing and all the life that was passing me by. SO, for better or worse, BlogLand, you have me back. Buckle Up... I'm moody, cranky, and a little nuts... but I'm determined. 

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Today Marked Week 2, Workout 3 of the Zombies Run! 5K training app that I'm currently following, to structure my running progress. It's literally been a year since I've been able to comfortably (no pain, etc.) run a solid 5K, so having a structured program, to help pace myself and prevent re-injury is essential. Plus, having something to "do," like listen to an interactive Zombie story, livens up the time. 

I won't lie to you... Today, it was 29 degrees and a bit windy here in Vermont. Going OUTside (I work from home, so I hadn't really had to go outside today) didn't seem like the most appealing plan. It seemed cold, unpleasant and a lot like WORK. With that, I suddenly was reminded of why I needed to do it. *Needed* to. Not wanted to, but needed to, to get to my goals. Donning my tried and true UnderArmour coldgear (good lord, what would I do with out that stuff?!), I grabbed my Puppers, Dobby (Dobby, because her ears look a lot like THIS, when she's being silly... ), and away we went. 

The workout starts out benign enough with a 10 minute warm up walk, while you intermittently listen to your playlist and hear some plot development from Zombie HQ. Then, we're on to walk/run drills. This workout was 30 second run, 5 heel lifts, 1 minute of walking.... Five times. After that, it was a 10 minute "free form" (run, walk, whatever) run. I'm happy to report that a 30 second run is no problem at all (finally!) and in my "free form" run, I'm once again able to start measuring my run time in MINUTES, rather than seconds. It's been a while. 

I will also admit that a little "saving face" and internal competition fuel me through these workouts. I went running on a busy running path today - so I was constantly confronted with other runners - all of whom (today) looked very fit and scenic as they trotted merrily along. A start contrast to my strong, but steady, thump thump thump (I sometimes hope that having my adorable dog along distracts people from the complete ungracefulness that is me right now.). When I see these other runners, I always push to run just a little more strongly, or a little further than I want ("Self, we're not going to stop until we PASS them..."). Competition, even if it's in your own head, can be a good time, sometimes. 

After the completion of my free form run, I had some time to walk and stretch it out, before returning to my car. I've been feeling good after my runs, lately. No cramping, no aches, no stiffness. I'm pretty proud of that, as it means I'm doing SOMEthing right. 

Overall, I rate today as a complete success. And the wee pup had a great time too, despite the weather. She's not ready for her sweater, just yet!

Further, I'm happy to report that I'm back eating pretty strictly Paleo (with the addition of dairy). The Man and I have been shopping based on a pre-planned menu for the week, leaving no room in the cart for "bad stuff" or random things that don't need to be in the house, lest I shove them in my face in a moment of weakness. 

We've also acquiesced and joined a local SnapFitness. It wasn't my first choice of gym (I REALLY wanted to get back to my membership at my CrossFit gym), but it was the cheapest price tag around, offered a month to month "contract" and would me more than sufficient to serve my workout needs for the foreseeable future. Also, it's 24 hours... that means I have even LESS excuses to not get to the gym. 

The Key Concept here: Setting oneself up for success.

It will be a long road. It will be a bumpy one.... but you just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other........

Until Tomorrow, BlogLand! 

Nothing will work unless you do. - Maya Angelou

Spartan Shape-Up, Day 402:

As the sunny Saturday afternoon stretched before us, I instructed the CG to don his newly-acquired Spandex; I was taking him for a run.

We weren't "going running" ... implying that it was entirely voluntary activity... I was taking him for a run. My ankle is on the healing upswing and I needed to get back out there and on it to test it out a bit (and work out some of the stiffness). Also, the CG has expressed some genuine interest in getting back into running for health and fitness. It seemed like a perfect combination to me - I'd have to take it a little easy on my ankle, and an "easy" pace would be good for easing him back into it. Plus, I needed a reason to lace up my sneakers again and fight off the mental laziness that has tried to creep in, and he needed a push out the front door to get started. These, BlogLand, are the times when having a buddy is invaluable. You may not be at the same level of your training, but there is always something to be learned from each other.

I taped up my ankle Kenesio-Tape style (not a supportive taping, exactly), tied my Inov-8's and dragged him out the door. It was warm, but not horrid, there was a nice breeze and all was well with world. The plan was to do walk-run intervals (You know, run to that mailbox, walk until that tree, run to the next mail box), until we'd completed this roughly 3 mile circuit.

The first mile was a stiff one for me, until my stupid ankle warmed up, but it was a great reminder tool for me. Instead of concentrating on the frustrating feelings of having to take it slow on that injury, I got to hand out reminders of the basics, to the CG. Aside from taking the focus away from my ankle, it also helped me to center in on the little things - manually slowing down your breathing, deep breaths in, keeping a steady pace, relaxing your shoulders and pushing just a few steps farther than you want to.

The CG was a wonderful running partner, even egging me into a couple of cul-de-sac sprints, as I was feeling good at the end of our run. We both came back a sweaty mess, hot but smiling, so I deemed it a success. It was hard enough to be effective, but not miserable enough that he'd never want to get out there again. That, in my experience is the key. Your workouts need to push the limits of your capabilities, but still be within your ability to finish them.
(Here's to Day 1 of converting another poor, unsuspecting soul into running...)

Following our lovely run was a natural progression of re-hydrating and stretching, in his shaded back yard. I chattered on about stretching, sitting in the grass and reaching for my toes, doing pigeon poses, and generally feeling my creaky muscles loosen up....  when I stretched out a hand into the grass and felt like a nail had just gone through my palm.

With an instinctual reaction, I whipped my hand up to find a yellow-jacket dangling and wriggling in that pissed-off imma-sting-the-shit-out-of-you way that they do. Well, FML, BlogLand. That hurt like crazy, and knowing I have a sensitivity to stings and such, I was a little concerned. As I clutched my hand and watched the purple lump rise, the medically-knowledgeable CG fed me some allergy meds and got me some ice.... and interestingly enough, put a meat-tenderizer paste on the sting. What, you say?! I know. I did the same thing. However, when that sting starts throbbing and swelling, you're pretty much willing to try anything. Apparently, the venom is protein based... and meat tenderizer breaks down protein. SO, hypothetically, if you can get it in the sting, it helps to lessen the venom. Whether it was this, or the allergy med, or the ice, or just my brain wanting to believe it was better.... it did feel better in about an hour or so, so we decided to press on with our day.

I refuse to let a tiny yellow jacket with anger management issues ruin my weekend. Ba!

Off to climbing. The CG was on a mission to get in a workout - not just "go climbing." I had the slight feeling that I was in for it, despite a touchy ankle and a slightly swollen hand. My inner Spartan was not yet ready to admit defeat though. Climbing, here I go.

Today's plan was to do a pyramid workout with the climbs, taking advantage of the mostly-empty climbing gym. First, we'd climb all the super easy climbs, emphasis on getting up them fast and not wasting time. Then, we'd move up the grades (all the next easiest, all the slightly harder), until we didn't successfully complete a climb. Ideally, then, we'd go back down the ladder, backing down to a route level that we could do, and so on.

We did a slightly modified version of this plan, but got a raging amount of climbing in. I'm pretty sure I went up and down the wall a million times.... or like 12? 13? more? which is a lot in the scheme of things. The CG was putting me to shame with the ease that he got up the routes that tapped me out, and then was able to keep going. I feel off the wall at one of my project 5.6's and at a project 5.7. Basically, my arms were toasted at this point. On a good day, when I was fresh, I think I could've gotten up these climbs, but our endurance climbing day had taken it's toll. Even though these were "easy" climbs, you still have to use your body, your grip, your muscles.... slowly, they'll get stronger and I'll be able to do more. Effectively, I feel like this is the equivalent of the interval runnings I got the CG to do.... Push until you can't go anymore, then back off a little bit, until you can push a little bit further. It's the only way you get better.

After about an hour of hard, fast climbing, my hands (and my damn bee sting) were exhausted; I'm pretty sure I couldn't have opened a water bottle if I tried (thank god for the push-button water fountain), and my ankle was feeling tired (not painful, but worked).

.... and it only took a 35 minute interval run, a recovering ankle injury, a bee sting and an hour or so of rock climbing to get me there. Interesting thought, I just had. Old Me wouldn't have even made it through that "easy" run.... let alone have the stamina or energy to push through all of those things.

Aja 2.0, for the win. The best thing about this process has not been the weight loss, or the muscle gain, or the compliments or the successes.... but simply the fact that I can now live Out Loud and do the things I want to do, without having to factor in my physical limitations. I am not limited by anything except my own mind... and I choose to make that get on board and Spartan Up.

"I ran. I ran until my muscles burned and my veins pumped battery acid. Then I ran some more. " — Chuck Palahniuk

Wow. My lungs were really not on board with the running plan, today. Today was the first day of Week 5 in my quest to get in Spartan Shape... and it was Week 5, workout 3 of the Couch to 5K Podcast I'm following. Today's run called for a 5 minute warm-up walk, and then a straight 20 minute run. 

I set off. I walked to my running area,  hit the play button and did my best. I dug deep. Real deep... Sadly, I have to admit, this would be the first time I couldn't complete a Podcast/run exactly as directed. I finished the one before this just fine, so I moved on, but apparently, my body isn't quite up to the 20 minute straight out run, YET. 

Instead, I ended up running about 10 minutes, walking for less than 30 seconds (this was my self imposed rule. No "big" breaks), and then I had two more 20-30 second walking intervals in the last half of the run. All things considered, I think 20 minutes of running, with like 2 minutes of walking, spaced over tiny intervals, is pretty damn good. Again, I need to remind myself that when I started this 5 weeks ago, I could barely run ten minutes, out of the whole half hour workout. Today, I ran ALMOST 20 minutes straight, and then tacked on my usual extra two minutes running down the hill and through the parking lot, back to my walk home. 

It was tough though. I'm not going to lie, there was a moment somewhere around minute 15-16 that I wanted to quit. I heard myself start to say *pant, pant* "I can't do this...", at which point I had to mentally bitch slap myself and remind myself that THAT was not an option. I CAN in fact do this, I HAVE done this, and I WILL continue to do this. 

Just because I can't (YET) gracefully bound along for the entire 3 miles, doesn't mean I'm not succeeding. I have made huge progress in what I'm able to do, and I need to just keep pushing as hard as I can to move forward. What's that saying? "Rome wasn't built in a day."

I think I'm going to try and use today as an excuse to really regroup and refresh. I have to re-do my workout tracking spreadsheets (shut up. You need to track, and that seems organized and graph-able. lol) this afternoon, and look at my food intake a little bit. My weight has been plateauing some, so it's time, again, to be more mindful of what's going into my body. Bleh. 

Whew. Okay. Enough for today. 

The moral of the story: "Never, never, never quit." -Winston Churchill