Enthusiasm is the mother of effort, and without it nothing great was ever achieved. —Ralph Waldo Emerson

Spartan Shape-Up, Day 515-16:

My biceps are sore, my deltoids are creaky and my lats are unhappy and making their presence known.

It feels AWESOME.

It's no secret, BlogLand, that I've been a little off track of late; I've had difficulty getting back into the training routine after being "out" injured, I've been struggling to get the food part under control, I've been struggling to remind myself WHY I want to get up early and go run in the cold. Further, I'll admit, when I have gone out, things that were easy (running a 5K) are challenging again, and I get into that negative "why bother!" head space.

BUT. I'm a Spartan and Spartan's don't quit. Particularly when they have big plans for a 2013 race season.

Anyway, Saturday found me in Everett, MA. at MetroRock for the Dark Horse climbing competition. No, No, BlogLand... it's not what you think. I'm *definitely* not competing (LOL!), but the CG is a sales rep for MadRock climbing shoes/gear, so he needed to go for work purposes.... and I needed to go get my climb on!

One of the first things we wanted to try out was the Auto-Belay system that they have in place. Basically, it's a device that allows you to climb without a partner to belay you - which is pretty cool if you don't have a regular belay buddy. It works on the same principle as those badge holders, or vacuum cord retractors: the device is always pulling up, until you start to fall, at which point it lets you down slowly. Sounds great, right? (we were particularly interested in trying these, because our home back rock gym - Petra Cliffs - was installing the auto belays, too...).

Clipping in for the first time was disconcerting. When you're climbing with a buddy belaying you, you can feel a constant person at the other end of your rope, that makes it feel "safe". They can keep the rope a little extra tight if you're struggling, and basically, their constant activity of belaying you reminds you subtly that someone has your back. With an auto-belay, you have a constant slight, gentle pull. One you don't notice all that much while you're climbing up... but hey, no big deal, because you're climbing up. However, at some point you have to come down and this is where the BIG DIFFERENCE lies.                                                                            

In a normal buddy-belay, when you reach the top, they've got the rope taught and you can just sort of sit back away from the wall, at which point they can lower you down at a consistent rate. An auto-belay doesn't work that way. When you reach the top, you have to just let go and trust that it will catch you; you actually "fall" about a foot, before the auto belay catches and realizes that you want to go down, at which point it slows you to a gentle, even lowering speed. But that first 12 inch "fall" is TERRIFYING. 1) you have to trust the machine to catch you, 2) it feels like you're jumping to your death, because there's no tension on the rope, really, until you pass that first 12 inches of falling and it catches. So, I won't lie, every time I got to the top with the autobelay, I had to take a few deep breaths, close my eyes and force myself to push off the wall.

I am happy to report that after a dozen auto belays in the last couple of days, I am still here to blog about it. Crazy to get used to, but safe for some solo gym work.

So, the CG and I did a few climbs at MetroRock, but then he had to get back to work... so it was just me and the auto belays. I dutifully attacked a few routes that I thought I could handle... a 5.6 and a 5.7... I managed the 5.6, but the 5.7 continued to elude me, with it's small, pinchy hand holds. I could barely get up 5-6 feet with that one. Frustrated, I was. The other thing is that, with an auto-belay, you don't have a buddy that you're switching off with, giving you some built in rest time. Therefore, like any self-competitive sort, I was working the routes in quick succession, inadvertently working on my muscle stamina. I knew it was time for a break, when I got to the top of the 5.6 and my arms were burning. Ohhhh yeahhh... that battery acid in your veins sort of feeling, that reminds you that you're alive and making progress.

With cooked arms, I unclipped for the day and went to watch the pros at work on the competition. It's really impressive what some of these people can do - hang their whole body weight from two fingers, while explosively jumping to grab the next hold. Something to aspire to, for sure. When pursuing a new activity or sport, I find it extremely helpful to have the picture of an "expert" in  your head to try and emulate. For instance, watching some of the basic, good technique that comes so naturally to the pros, helps me envision it for when I try my own tricky routes.
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Fast forward to today, the CG and I headed off to Petra for a real workout. Yesterday didn't "count" so much, because I was only at it for about 45 minutes or so (although, did get a pretty good burn) and my CG didn't get to climb much at all.

We warmed up on a few routes and my biceps twitched a little, reminding me of yesterday's activities. But no matter, time to get a real WOD in. The CG suggested we do some bouldering today. Bouldering: tricky short-wall problems that you work through, usually requiring more strength, not roped up.

I fought with one problem for quite some time, as it required you to hang from your right arm (holding a wide grip on something maybe the size of a 4x6) with your feet on small holds out to your left.... then, with an explosive swing and pull on that one right arm, REACH with your left arm and grab on to another hold (thus getting your body back over your feet). Here's the thing, BlogLand... as we all know, I have T-Rex arms. The hanging was difficult enough, never mind the swing, reach and grab. We fought. I landed on my ass a whole bunch of times. There was even a moment (honesty, here at WhataBeautifulWreck...), where I was so angry that I just couldn't make my body do this - which I thought I should be able to - that I hit the squishy floor, butt first and ground my teeth, wanting to cry in frustration a bit. It's lingering remnants of my inner fat chick, feeling incapable, as well as self-depreciation, because I feel like I've been failing on staying on track, eating right, etc.

BUT, BlogLand... here is key. You can have those thoughts, acknowledge that they're a part of you.... and then tell them to STFU, as you move past them. The simple fact that you're frustrated because you can not perfectly perform a difficult activity should be a reminder that you're NOT on the couch and you're attempting difficult activities!! SO, you're not there YET.... but you're still on your way.

We bouldered a little longer, until my biceps were screaming while I just stood there, then did a few runs at some easy routes, while I focused on using my strengths (legs!) instead of trying to drag myself up the wall by my (mostly-decorative) arms.

Finally, with hands that did no longer close, and arms that were limp with exhaustion, we unroped and headed home.

.... but, oh no, we're not done yet. As you all well know, I've been trying to incorporate more stretching into my life a) to increase mobility, b) to prevent re-injuries from happening and c) to increase my performance and abilities going forward. SO... Yoga time!!

To cap of this weekend of climbing, we Warrior 1'd and Twisting Star'ed ourselves (yep, the CG does it with me too!! WAHA!) into a stretched out, pleasantly exhausted state. Corpse pose (laying flat on your back, breathing), was AWESOME.

As I sit here telling you about my adventures, I'm tired.... but that's the point. It's the end of the day, the end of the weekend , and I DID something with my life, rather than just held down the couch. I am probably going to be creaky tomorrow, but it will remind me to do some more yoga, and I will know that it is just a step in the right direction for getting my body into the shape I want it to be in.

Baby steps.

That said, it's time for some hydration (water fixes SO many things!), and some good fuel. There's a tasty pot roast cooking, some cauliflower mash with bacon (when you can't have potatoes, this can be a good sub), and brussel sprouts.

So, as you spend your Sunday evening planning your crazy holiday-filled week to come, take a moment and assess where you're at and where you've come from. Yeah, today your deltoids are on fire, and your back is tired.... but hey, would old you have ever worked that hard? Would your previous Fat Kid ever have even THOUGHT of going climbing? I know mine wouldn't.

VICTORY! One screaming muscle at a time.......

"It is always the simple that produces the marvelous..."

Spartan Shape-Up, Day 351:

One of the most powerful Spartan Race motto's is: Sign Up, Show Up, Don't Give Up. In the last few weeks, I've had a lot of "give up" sort of thoughts, thanks to this injury. Not give up entirely, but I've definitely found my thought train a little less on track, thanks to the frustration and inability to stay on my training program.

HOWEVER. I am unwilling to fail, or regress back to the person I said goodbye to 351 days ago (It was a decision I made almost a year ago and with that decision came great power. That is the key, people: Decide.) . Therefore, BlogLand, the times required a bit of a thought adjustment. If I could not do the things that I was accustomed to to get results... but I still wanted results... well... I'd have to find other things.

As and ye shall receive.

There are times that I know I am on the right track, because the Cosmos not only make the journey free of impediments, but actually help it along. Lately, I've been bitching about my T-Rex arms. And also my inability to do a lot of things with my legs. Suddenly, the Universe graced me with a fabulous new friend - who just happens to be an avid and extremely knowledgeable rock climber. Well, hell.

Guess who got to try bouldering ("Bouldering": climbing outside on challenges ...boulders... that don't require ropes.)??????

So, this is my official badass picture of the day. (What you can't see here is that I'm like 18 in above the ground...) I would like to take this moment to also have a flash of positivity. Instead of focusing on the squishy bit around my middle there (NO!! don't loook!!!), I'm choosing to direct this positive moment at  that calf muscle there. Rawr. T-Rex is in the Hizzzousse, peeps.

 THIS is my Spider Monkey guide... I mean, Climbing Tutor for the day, easily dangling from ledges..... My arms are scared just thinking about that.

 Here is me enjoying one of the best moments.... taking the climbing shoes OFF. haha... Those suckers take a little getting used to.

I did this one for YOU, BlogLand. Post bouldering tired-face, but demonstrating the carrying-equipment look: the thing on my back is a foldable crash pad/mat for when you must bail off the boulders.... Not that I did that (lol)... but I thought you all had to see my best impression of a ninja-turtle look.

So, here's some things I learned about rock climbing through this experience. This, BlogLand, is way hard. Running with a sandbag is hard. Doing burpees is hard... but this is a very specific kind of hard.

My first task was to simply climb a few holds up on this easy rock, then jump down to the crash mats. So, after a few deep breaths - because I'm not sure why this challenge made me a little nervous - I started up the boulder. With my big toes.

Seriously, BlogLand. My big toes were like, what in the HELL is this plan?! Which was shortly followed by my fingers echoing their sentiments.

Then I got to the easy part: Just jump off.
.... or not.

So, in all reality, I had only climbed up like three feet. Maybe four. Jumping down onto hugely thick, squishy foam, complete with a spotter, should've been an non-issue. Yeah. Well. Tell that to my brain. Instead, I glanced down between my body and the rock and was instantly quite SURE that I had climbed the Empire State Building. That crash pad was the size of a postage stamp, my right leg had the nerve-shakes and my fingers dug into my tiny rock holds like the world was ending.

Just. Let. Go.

Sometimes, THAT is the big lesson, BlogLand. At some point, you just have to let go. Maybe that's what I'm learning as I spend tonight closing out my 20's and wondering what my 30's are going to be like. You can prepare all you want, protect yourself all you want, but at some point, your only option is just to surrender to a scary experience: The Unknown.

What's going to happen when I stop clawing at this rock? When I hit that mat, will someone be there to steady me? What if I hurt myself?

What you can not do is cling to the same holds, in a vice grip, for too long. You must just take a deep breath, throw caution to the wind, grow some wings on the way down (any other true cliches?) and just LET GO.

And who knows... you never know what you might learn! The ground is closer than you think, people will catch you, and the mats are pretty damn squishy. But you have to take that chance and do scary things.

Later, whilst making my 4-5th attempt at willing my arm to be 3 inches longer so I could more effectively grab a hold, I realized I am going to like this new sport (and upper body workout. and challenge. ). It has a very unique sort of challenge to it; you must have some creative vision to figure out how you're going to get from here to there, using only tiny natural irregularities in the rock. You must also posses the physicality (or ability to will your fingers into obedience!) to maintain your positioning, stand on your toes and hold yourself to the rock. But it's not a team effort. It's very much YOU vs. Yourself/The Rock. Just the kind of challenge I adore.

Dear Rock Climbing... I have a distinct feeling you may be seeing much, much more of me. (Get ready arms... Beast Mode, Activated!)