Come what may, all bad fortune is to be conquered by endurance. - Virgil

Spartan Shape-Up, Day 315:

"Life is an exercise in endurance. It will beat you to the ground. Your money will fly away when you need it most. Some friends will, too.  How you react when this happens will define you."

 Somehow, Spartan Race always knows the exact thing I need to hear, when they send out their newsletter.

I'm having a real bad day today, BlogLand. It was the first time, in a really long time, that my old brain started to kick in and turn me to food again, as a coping mechanism. Major FCS flare-up.

Work is going crazy. I'm sure I don't need to spell this out for you. It's just one of those weeks where it feels like there's not enough of you - you need more hands, more time, more brains to think with, more energy, more, more, more. Pretty much every day in the last week or so, I've come out of work feeling beat up and mentally exhausted. It's temporary, due to some changes we've been dealing with... but still. It's been taking it's toll.

That has overflowed into my already-bad sleep habits. I'm not sleeping enough, and when I am sleeping, I'm dreaming like crazy. Not restful.

Then, I've got a race coming up this weekend. I'm Headed down to the Spartan Sprint in Tuxedo, NY and I'm doing my first Hurricane Heat. I'm excited out of my mind. Or I'm trying to be. I was excited out of my mind, then suddenly there were 400 little complications. I had to work out a registration snafu. I was back and forth with the (awesome!) volunteer coordinator, trying to get some stuff worked out. Coordinating with other people I know, to try and get there together became an impossibility. To add insult to injury, the one buddy I had to drive down with had a work crisis, and can't leave when I need to (to make the Hurricane Heat at 5am on Saturday!). Now I find myself in a tough spot. I'll either have to drive down by myself, or try and hunt down another group that might be going from the area, and try and hitch a ride... of which I know nobody.

*sigh*... as much as I do these races for *me*, there is a large social component. Once I get to the race, it will be fine... but I guess I always consider traveling part of the whole "experience" and it sucks to have to do that alone. I'm not an alone person. However. I suppose it will be a time for reflection. And if I have my car, perhaps, I will avoid the ride complications I had in Colorado.

Argh. I just hate dealing with this stuff 3 days before a race.

And I didn't run today. I did take my two additional prescribed walks today, but it should've been Sprint night, take 2. Last night, Sprints were cancelled on account of the Tornado Warning and raging T-storms we had here. I should've done it tonight, instead. But, I was in a crappy mood and I fell down on the job.

Not as an excuse, but I am experiencing some major DOMS (2nd day soreness!) from the Murph WOD this weekend. My hips/quads/legs in general are angry. Real angry.

So, by the time I got home at 7:30pm, knew I wasn't Sprinting, but feeling a little guilty about that, was frustrated with myself and several situations beyond my control... and just pretty ugly.

I wanted Pizza. And Hot Wings. That's what my brain said. That's what my inner Fat Chick said. Pizza and Hot Wings would make me feel better.

It is the first time in close to a year that I've really had that thought train. I even started negatively justifying it - What would it matter, I'm not losing weight right now anyway! If I'm not WOD'ing, I might as well really screw up the day!
... and so on and so forth.

It was just a really bad night. We all have them.

Thankfully, my house is pretty food "safe", and I sat on my couch with a glass of water, cried out some frustration and reflected on what would really help me. Pizza and Wings were not it. I made a list of the things I needed to do. I drank some water and went to the kitchen and found some appropriate left overs.

I've spent the evening just trying to breathe in and breathe out and remind myself that all will be fine. I just need to let go and accept the things I can not change.

What I can change is how I think about them. Pizza and Wings are NOT a solution to the feelings I was feeling, or the obstacles before me.

Now, I'm going to bed, Blogland to sleep off this ugliness. I will wake up tomorrow and take my walk, eat breakfast and get off to work.

"If we are facing in the right direction, all we have to do is keep walking. " - Proverb

Confidence comes from hours and days and weeks and years of constant work and dedication. - Roger Staubach

Spartan Shape-Up, Day 313:

I spent some time on my floor this evening, in the infamous "starfish" pose, in a puddle of my own sweat, with ice packs on both knees, pondering all the things I wanted to tell you about tonight, BlogLand. It is a glamorous life I lead, I know.

I rolled out of bed this morning, ready to feel hit-by-truck syndrome, but thanks to some well placed Tiger Balm (seriously, I should buy stock in this company) and a few Ibuprofen, my feet hit the floor and I was in minimal discomfort. My ankles (old injuries) were a wee bit stiff from yesterday's time road-running, but loosened up after wandering around my house for 10-15 minutes or so. I think I've figured out how to best "recover" my body from unusual exertions.

Being Memorial Day, there was a lot on my list of things to do. Not the least of which was CrossFit's Infamous Memorial Day Murph WOD. I didn't make it to the class this morning (I genuinely needed the sleep), but promised myself I would get it done before the day was out. Memorial Day is about something much bigger than a BBQ, and I intended to honor that, at least in this small way, by committing to this WOD of remembrance.

However, being such a beautiful day, FIRST I decided to set forth on my inaugural kayak voyage for the season!

Not my most photogenic moment, but hey, you get the idea. I made a couple of interesting observations during this experience. First, learning how to do a Clean & Press in CrossFit does, in fact, have a real world application: ever gotten your kayak from the ground, to the rack over your head? Yep! Let's just say it was significantly easier this year, than it has been before. ALSO, with 50+ less pounds than I had the last time I went kayaking, it was really interesting to see how much easier it was. Getting in and out of the kayak I had more mobility, I didn't feel squeezed in when I was in the kayak, and the whole experience was just more pleasurable - not riddled with little discomforts. Yay for unforeseen benefits!

A lovely meandering paddle upstream (against the current!), then a jaunt back downstream clocked my buddy and I in at around 2.5 hours. I admit, I was grateful to see the shoreline at this point - my rusty kayak muscles (which seem to be my traps), were getting pretty fatigued at this point. It had gotten to the point, in the last 10 minutes, where I employed the same mindset I do with running sometimes - just getting lost in the mindless rhythm of left, right, left, right... to get through it.

Back to my Paternal Unit's house to drop of the kayak for storage, snag a 20 minute before-dinner nap and have some food. Finishing dinner, I remembered that I had promised myself I would Murph before the day was out. I better get a move on.

Getting home and preparing to Murph, I noticed I had made a stellar accomplishment today. While I had sunscreened my face and arms, etc. I apparently did not sunscreen my legs. For any of your veteran kayakers, you'll understand when I say that it can leave you with the weirdest sunburn known to man. My crowning accomplishment looks like this:

What that is, is a raging sunburn covering my inner knee/thigh, and making a very dramatic line down the middle of my knee and down the side of my calf. I have a matching one on the right leg. Here's the best part: if you look closely at that picture, you can also see the ridiculous results of wearing the same pair of capri pants for two sunny races in a row.

I think I have already won the contest for most outrageous tan lines. Stop trying people; my inability to do anything but burn in weird ways over the summer makes me a clear shoe-in victory.

However, it was starting to get that stingy-ouchy feeling. Slathering on some Aloe, I ignored it as best as I could and got to work on the Murph.

The Memorial Day Murph WOD:
1 mile run
100 Pull Ups
200 Push Ups
300 Squats
1 mile run

It's a doozy and one of the longer WODs in CrossFit. The movements are relatively simple, and you're allowed to break up the maneuvers however you want, as long as you complete them all and start/end with a one mile run. Simple, right? SO WRONG.

I was determined to get through this one, this year, because last year at this time, CrossFit had just popped on my radar. I had taken a tour of the gym on memorial day and seen all the crazies getting after this WOD. I was horribly intimidated and 100% sure I could never do it. Today, I would do it.

My game plan was to rotate through them in sets of 20, until the pull ups (my weakest link) were done, then get through the push ups and squats as best as possible. I know, it was a highly technical plan.

I was doing pull ups at home, with the aid of a stool (I only put one leg on it to make it a little harder on myself...). I got busy. 10 with help from my right leg, 10 with help from my left. Down for the push ups. Up for the squats. So far, so good. Round 2. Round 3.

Then, it got hard. BlogLand, my upper body is crappy. There is a reason several people jokingly post T-Rex pictures to my FB Wall. I struggled hard through the last set of pull ups. 100 Pull ups. Done.

... but I was still left with something in the neighborhood of 100 push ups, and a 160+ squats.

I got back down to my knees for push ups. The sunburn on my knees felt like battery acid when I knelt on it, and a creeping burn with every squat. I plodded forward. 2/3 of the way through, I was not stopping now, but I sure as hell was no longer having any fun.

At pushup #124, my arms failed. I got to the bottom of my push up and Up wasn't happening at that moment.

I will be honest here, BlogLand, I cried a little bit. I know this is a particularly hard WOD that exploits a lot of my weak areas. However, it is even more difficult for me for my mind to be strong, but my body to *still* not be willing. I have spent the last year making a lot of changes and overcoming a lot of challenges, and committing to a new lifestyle. To be part way through a WOD and seriously have to consider whether you are legitimately physically able to do it, is the most frustrating thing in the world, after you've spent 6 days a week for the last year training your body so that it can. Hence, I was face down in my ugly brown carpet, sweat dripping into my eyes, while tears poured out of them.

With that frustration, I rotated through some more squats (which I can do, even those they were getting sore), and back to the push ups. I was bound and determined that even if it took me all night, I was finishing this WOD.

Angry tears trickled down my face during the last 20 push ups, as I was doing them in sets of 2. Literally. Down, Up. Down, Up. Rest. Repeat. It hurt. My muscles were protesting, my arms were wobbling. It was like trying to use jello to push my gigantic self off the floor. But finally, I was done. 200 push ups.

With only 30 squats left, I stood up, and went to work.

Counting out that last squat was the most beautiful moment of the day. I promptly marked it in my book, then grabbed two ice packs and starfished on the floor, as it was the coolest place in my apartment.

The ice packs were for the sun burn on my knees. Who knew that would be the ouchiest part, immediately following Murphing?!

Nonetheless, I was done. I finished it. 58 minutes and 30 seconds. Complete with crying breaks. LOL. (Sometimes, it is challenging being an emotionally centered human.)

I am also happy to report that while I detested every last second of it, I also completed my food log for the weekend - accounting for the post-race beer and pizza, as well as the cookies I ate today. I hated it. I hate detailing that. But I WANT to lose the rest of this weight, and I will. If I need to detail my food in order to figure out how to make that happen, so be it.

It was a day full of angry successes, I suppose.

Now, I'm off to slather on some more aloe and get some sleep....
Happy Memorial Day, All... and remember as you go to sleep, safe and sound in your comfortable beds, all those who have given their lives to allow you that privilege.

"You will never do anything in this world without courage. It is the greatest quality of the mind next to honor". –Aristotle

Spartan Shape-Up, Day 175:

Wow. One Hundred and Seventy Five Days. Sometimes when I type the number, it just hits me, BlogLand. WOW. Incidentally, if you look to your right, you will also see that there is only 115 days until my first Spartan Race. I'm more than halfway there! ACK!!!! *commence freak out*

So as not to lose my mind completely, let's change the subject. Let's talk about food. As you are well aware, BlogLand, I did that "No Bread" challenge for 50 days, commencing on Christmas Eve. After that, I honestly haven't put that many carbs back into my diet. I'm still keeping things mainly proteins with fruits and veggies. Not to say that the occasional starch isn't making it in there, but honestly, my body doesn't want it the same way. I feel better. Ahhh...

ANYWAY, having said that, I need your help, dear Readers.
Sherry Post, over at Simple Fuel, is having a contest. She issued a challenge (everyone knows I love a good challenge), and the winner gets a whole bunch of this amazing Simple Fuel of hers - which I am positively dying to try. I've been seeking out some new ways of fueling for/recovering from these crazy workouts I've been doing and I like the idea of her products - Simple. "All Natural Body Food". It's not some weird powdery mix of chemical things, with long names I can't pronounce... It's made from different kinds of berries, seeds, coconut milk, etc.. She's got granola (which I hear is crazy addictive), as well as meal replacer/supplemental drinks, natural snacks.... Hell, just go take a look.
But WAIT. Contest. I would like to win the Granola (Om Nom Nom. Carbs I don't have to feel bad about...).
Could you kindly head over to Simple Fuel's FaceBook Page, "LIKE" it, then leave a quick comment telling them I sent you? You may feel free to profess your undying love for me for introducing you to those products, or pledge your allegiance to me due to your new super powers from eating The Granola, or whatever you'd like (lol). But to recap:
1) Visit Simple Fuel
2) "Like" the page
3) Comment and tell them Aja sent you.

Please. Thank You.

Now, onto our regularly scheduled programming:

Today was technically CrossFit day. (Yep, it's Wednesday again.) However, I have been struggling to get back on my normal work/sleep/workout/life in general schedule, after the holidays... It is just not all back together yet. I've been going to bed way too late, sleeping too late, rushing to work (so I'm not late), then having to workout when I get home (which is late)... are we sensing a trend? In short, no excuses, I just need to get back into the swing of things.

This morning, though, didn't go so well. I was up late last night, but dutifully checked my alarm to make sure it was set for CrossFit wake-up time (6am. Ugh.). It was. I went to bed and was out immediately. Apparently, when the alarm went off at 6am, I woke up just enough to snooze it... and wake up a couple hours later. After my CF class was over. WTF. Damn. Alright, well, apparently I needed it. So, off to work I went.

So, consulting the GT (confessing my transgressions keeps me honest) for the best alternate plan for when I got home from work, and I was assigned the CrossFit Murph. I died inside. I know what Murph is... It is:
1 mile run
100 pull ups
200 push ups
300 squats
1 mile run
.... for time.

I didn't think about keeping time, but I knew I wouldn't be able to bust out this whole WOD tonight (I didn't even get home until 8pm, it's a legit reason!), so I split it up a bit.
I got my shoes on and went out for a run:
Time: 20:44 min
Distance: 2.0 miles
Average Pace: 10.22 min/miles
Which included a stop at a crosswalk. SO, I'm thinking I did those two miles solidly at a 10 min pace. THAT, BlogLand, is good for me. Speed is not something I've typically had a lot of, or could sustain... so, I was thrilled to see that pace on the clock. (I've got a flat 5K coming up in February, and I'm not going to lie... I'm hoping for about a 30 min pace...)

Upon arriving home, I resolved to do HALF the rest of the Murph, and finish the other half tomorrow morning. It's just not good for my sleeping if I get all my adrenaline rolling at 10pm. So:
50 Pull Ups (owwwww)
100 Push Ups (OWWWW)
150 Squats (ehh, not too bad).

I'm feeling this in my back and shoulders at the moment... sooo... it could be interesting when I try and finish the other half in the morning, but I suppose this is the penance one pays when one sleeps through their alarm.... (Lesson #4568 Learned. Check.)

So, in the midst of getting a little mouthy on FB about getting ready to do (a 1/2) Murph this evening, I find myself committed to another challenge:

1/2 Mile of Lunges, on Sunday, January 8th. Apparently, it's group challenge, through a little virtual connecting. Through the magic of cell phones/Skype and whathaveyou, The GT and I, as well as one of our fellow Spartans will all be lunging together. For a 1/2 mile.

I'm not sure what my big mouth may have gotten me into this time, and suddenly 1/2 mile seems like a LONG way for lunges, but hey, I'm game. STFU, right?

Readers, are any of you up for the challenge? How about 1/4 mile of lunges? Maybe lunges while viewing a scenic vista? Lunges while carrying something heavy? Lunges while making silly faces? Lunges. Just do some Lunges on Sunday, in solidarity for the fact I probably won't be able to walk on Monday, okay? If you get your Lunge on, how about sending me some pics? We'll compare lunges on Sunday night, alright?

Spartan up, and give it your best shot...

In the meantime, get to bed. Geesh. Don't you know that an appropriate amount of sleep is vital to your health and wellness? hehe... Oh My. (She says as she finishes blogging at 12:30am.).