It's not that I'm so smart, it's just that I stay with problems longer.

Spartan Shape-Up, Day 482:

Well! It's a relatively optimistic day in Get-My-Spartan-Ass-Back-On-Track land. I went to physical therapy this morning to see what they had to say about the latest in the saga of ouchiness....

First, there was an intern. Poor guy. They assigned him to shadow with my PT for my case, because it sounded like it should be "simple" shin splints, typical presentation and then all would be well, giving me some standard exercises and sending me on my way. In true Aja-fashion, NOTHING is simple.

They poked. They prodded. They stretched, they manipulated, they twisted, turned and generally did all sorts of craziness to my legs. Only to figure out the "problem" is actually like a perfect storm of 20 problems in one. Poor, poor Intern.

The cool thing about this visit was that, because of the intern, the PT thought outloud and went through her reasoning trains and what not so that he could see how she was making conclusions, etc. Very cool, because with a pretty extensive anatomy/science background, etc. I was able to keep up and understand what was going on.

Funny Moment of the Day: As part of the testing/evaluation phase, the intern is having me move my leg this way and that, and push against his hand. "Don't let me push your leg down," he says, in one instance. "Okay....." I think to myself. This is where I should tell you that "Intern" was a 6'4" athletic looking dude, who despite hearing me say that I had finished 10+ Spartan Races, including the recent 14 mile Beast, and a half marathon, apparently wildly underestimated me. I held my leg up. He pushed down.

He leaned into his hands, to get his body weight over his shoulders and push down.
I held my leg up.

His arms began to shake (I couldn't make this up!) with the exertion, before HE gave up and told me to put my leg down.

His reaction: "Okay. Wow. So. There is no problem with leg strength.... HOW do you train!??!"

(... didn't I tell him I was a Spartan? ;-) )

Anyway, the conclusion is this... I'm going to live to race another day!

I have had many, many ankle rolls over the course of my life, and one particularly bad one around age 19, where I was pretty sure I knew better than the doctors and didn't follow directions on how to let it heal. I didn't stay off it, I didn't ice it, etc. and it healed.... but with a significant loss of mobility. Since then, I've rolled in once or twice more and most recently, at the Amesbury Spartan Race (resulting in my First DNF...). So, here we have very limited ankle mobility, a (relatively) recent injury that I was again compensating for in my gait (on top of the compensation I already did for a weaker, less mobile ankle), continued training, chronically tight leg/calf muscles that I don't stretch enough, and a recent half marathon... All was fine (my body is a beast, sometimes!) for a couple of weeks... But I did a lot of sitting at my desk at work, and not a lot of stretching and foam rolling and appropriate recovery. Then, we had the trigger: I needed a pair of shoes to wear, and dug an old, worn out pair out of the closet. Went shopping and running errands. 6-8 hours later, my shin threw up it's hands in despair and seized, giving into shooting shin splints for the next 4 weeks.

FOUR (four plus, actually) weeks of nothing lower body. As you may have been reading along, I haven't been in the most awesome frame of mind. But hey, set backs, cancelling races and feeling limited will do that to you.

That said, after some awesome deep-heating and inflammation reducing (and scar tissue breaking?) ultrasound therapy, a crazy awesome shin/calf massage and a hearty lecture about stretching more (yoga, what?), the PT cleared me to run.

Yes. Run. While my ankle mobility still needs a lot of work, I haven't been in pain the last few days and it's time to test it out a bit. More importantly, PT said that her determination on my ability to do Fenway is directly related to how my leg handles an easy 5k jog.

Wasting no time, I got my running buddy on the line and scheduled an "easy 5k" (man, everything I say that, I am suddenly reminded of the days that 5K was the Big Goal... not a wee test run. Perspective.) for this evening.

I'm not going to lie, BlogLand, I was scared. Yep, scared to go for a run. I was considering things like, What if it flares up again? What if I can't run more than a block? Will I have to cancel Fenway? If it's not better after 4 weeks, will it ever get better? Am I going to be out of activity for the winter? Will I need to cut my leg off? Learn to walk on my hands? ... you know, the absolutely nonsensical worse-case scenario stuff.

Suited up in my spandex, including some hot pink calf compression sleeves to remind my shins to keep themselves in check, I headed out the door like I've done a thousand times... after stretching (did I mention I'm supposed to be doing a crazy amount of stretching 1200 times a day? Hold on. I'll tell you about that, right after I finish stretching...).

I won't bore you with a play by play of tonight's 5K, but here's the important stuff:

There was no pain. 

Granted, my ankle/leg felt a little fatigued from all the manipulation they did today, but there were absolutely no shooting/stabbing pains in the shin. YES.

I pretty much wanted to die. While I was totally psyched I was running with no pain, being completely off for 4 weeks (despite your GT giving you LOTs of other options that you could be doing and not aggravating your shin, while you just choose to wallow in your self-pity...) really takes it toll. First, I'm pretty sure I've put on a chunk of weight in the last month or month and a half. More weight does not make running any easier. Second, I was huffing and puffing like an effing asthmatic. Seriously, it was ridiculous. Third, my legs were like lead, as if we'd never run before.

Where a 5K is usually a warm up for me, this one - my "triumphant" return to training - was anything but. This was ugly, heavy, hard and not a ton of fun (thank god for running buddies!). As I pushed through the last quarter mile, I tried to reflect on all the things I'd done this year.... this was certainly not the hardest, even though it felt like it, at that moment.

Sitting home and stretching (yep. stretching.), I got a little moody. Feeling the pulling in my legs as I forced my calves to stretch, reminded me of how much make-up work has to be done. My conditioning has suffered a back slide a bit. Running was hard. My breathing was all wrong. I gained weight.

I won't tell you I have a completely sunshiny outlook on this situation, but I think that's actually a good thing. Old Me might've accepted the status quo and become complacent again, satisfied with the "good enough." Aja 2.0 is pissed that I've lost ground and is refocused, having had a hard slap in the face with reality in a sweating, huffing and puffing evening run. Aja 2.0 is NOT satisfied with the good enough, because I have big goals to meet going forward, and I won't meet them standing still, here, where it is comfortable.

Time to get down to business and get back to doing work.

So, here I am BlogLand, drinking my water and doing the alphabet with my toes (great for ankle mobility!) while I type. I've stretched some more, soaked in a hot bath, then iced the leg. Tomorrow, I'll be walking on my breaks at work, eating like I should and logging whatever goes into my mouth.

No matter how tiny the steps, remember, just keep moving.

With that, and the ever so distinctive aroma of Tiger Balm filling my nose (and tingling on my leg!), I leave you with some words of wisdom, recently passed on by my Yoda-like GT:

"This too shall pass." - King Soloman

Spartan Shape-Up, Day 469:

Happy to be climbing back in the saddle, I headed off to CrossFit to get my sweat on, while the lingering rains from Hurricane Sandy passed over Vermont.

Our small class of four settled into some foam rolling to warm up the muscles then a couple of sets of 200m rows and 5 "inchworm complexes." Yeah, I didn't know what an inchworm complex was until the other day, either, Blogland... but let me just tell you, it is a new kind of hell.
It goes like this, from a standing position.
- Bend at the waist, hands toward the floor.
- Walk your hands from your feet out forward, until your body is in a plank position
- Do a push-up (Oh, you bet I was dropping to my knees!)
- While still in plank position, bring right leg forward into a lunge/mountain climber position.
- Switch and bring left leg forward to lunge/mountain climber
- Back to plank position
- Side plank right
- Side plank left
- Do a push up
- Walk your feet up to meet your hands
- Stand up.

.... That's ONE. During this warm up, I couldn't help but think of that T-shirt that says, "My Warm-Up is your Workout."

Next, we were on to Handstand Practice. Not one of my strong suits, since I do have the tiny T-rex arms to contend with. Never the less, Stacey and I (the only two ladies in the class!), did our best and worked down from tall boxes to short ones, practicing positioning and getting our feet up. Not easy, at all, it seems. I have a very long way to go on this particular skill set!

Then it was on to the main event, today's WOD. Today's WOD was brought to us by the Tabata concept. For those of you not in the know, Tabata is a style of training that involves 20 seconds of (usually max effort) work, followed by 10 seconds of rest. Repeat 8 times.
Our task:
- Tabata Pull ups (me, using a huge thick band)
- Tabata Push ups
- Tabata Sit Ups
- Tabata Squats
(Count your total number of reps. Me: 230)

As soon as the clock started and we were off, I had on focus face. This particular WOD would work a lot of my really weak points, and after our inchworm warm up that had worked our core, I was thinking this was going to hurt.

Pull ups were a familiar ugly beast. Yes, I can kind of do them with the band, but about round 5 or so, I was down to 3 at a time, little break, 3 more. I'm determined that I will do ONE pull up before the new year, however. It's going to happen. I'm working my arms at climbing, getting back to crossfit.... I'm going to get there. Since I can't really work my legs right now (eff you hard, Shin Splints!), I have no excuse, right?

Tabata Push ups... right after pull ups... My arms were feeling like jelly, but I got into position (knee push ups) and just went to work, doing what I can. I think the thing to remember here, BlogLand, is that ONE push up is better than no push ups at all. If your arms give out mid-push up, at least you were trying to go forward. My arms burned, my back muscles were weeping and I was watching the clock for every long second, as I eeked out my push ups.

... You know your workout has gone wrong when your tabata butterfly sit ups feel like a relief.

On to something that is typically right up my alley - tabata body weight squats. Today, I approached them not with my usual zeal, but with caution and a tiny bit of dread. Last class, weighted squats made my shin splint flare up to crippling. I had to take it easy on these. I did my squats and put in some solid work... but no where near the speed and feeling of strength that I usually expect from myself here. Instead, I felt tentative and sore. *sigh*

Managed to get the WOD done with a respectable number of reps. Pull ups were definitely my limiting factor, despite how much I was careful at squats. Pull ups are the new focus move, going forward.

----------

It's two days after Crossfit and I have to admit, my arms are useless. DOMS (delayed onset muscle soreness) is attacking my biceps like crazy. My co-workers have been laughing at me, because when I try and straighten my arms to my sides, it's accompanied by Ouchie-Face and groans. Try reaching for the salt with sore biceps. NO. GOOD. Owwwww.
Perhaps this is where I am supposed to learn a lesson. Maybe I have been focusing on the strength in my legs too much, because it comes more naturally. Maybe now is the time, forced on me by the great Shin Splint Saga, to concentrate on whipping this sad little upper body into shape. Getting that pull up. Getting some really not-on-knees push ups. (and abs, thank you for also making your presence known... I won't neglect my core-workouts either!).

I have been struggling, of late, with this limiting injury. It is hard to pull yourself out of races and put question marks on upcoming ones. It doesn't feel good at all. I'm supposed to be chasing down those finish lines, not backing away from them. However, I have a sense of reason and I know that some time "off" now is better than permanent injury with much bigger physical limitations later. Time off it is, until I'm healed and good to go.

As a former Fat Chick, though, I'm afraid. Being limited like this, has sort of derailed my usual patterns, and I'm afraid I'm going to backslide. I'm afraid I'll lose progress. I'm afraid of all those silly irrational things you think when you're unhappy with what's going on, and your brain has hit Worse Case Scenario mode.

BUT.

Where there is a will, there is a way, and I'm a Spartan, Damnit. I have an appointment for X-rays on Monday, and Physical Therapy to go to the following Monday. It's cutting it a little close to Fenway... but I'm going to keep CrossFitting, stretching, foam rolling, icing, tiger balming and whatever else I can think of to help this along... and we'll just have to keep our fingers crossed.

Now, I'm off to slather some Ultra Tiger Balm on my biceps, do a little more foam rolling, and drag myself off for a loooooong sleep.

It is our attitude at the beginning of a difficult task which, more than anything else, will affect it’s successful outcome. - William James

Spartan Shape-Up, Day 340:

It's good to be back, BlogLand. It feels like forever since I sat down and told you about the adventures I've been having. Although, I suppose that's because instead of having adventures lately, I've been grounded, benched and caged in my own body. It'd been horrid.

Last weekend I ran that 5K race, despite the pulling sensation in my knee. Then I got in the car and sat for 1.5 hours to drive home. When I got out of the car at home, it hurt. A lot. It was so tight I couldn't straighten my knee hardly and I was "walking" with a pronounced limp (okay... so, maybe a 5K road race wasn't my best plan?). I did everything I was supposed to - Ibuprofen, Ice, stretching... but then I got up on Sunday morning and crawled out of bed like I was 80. It hurt any time the muscles in my left leg engaged at all... and let's not even discuss uphill or up stairs.

Sunday night I was at home, foam rolling my leg (which hurt like hell), until I finally just sat on my living room floor and cried. I spent a lot of time being trapped in my body because of my weight and fitness, and was so insanely frustrated that it was happening AGAIN. Plus, I admit, I was a little extra worried because of the kind of pain it was - this wasn't the muscle stiffness and soreness I was accustomed to. This was sharp and pulling. This was much different... and in my head (particularly since it hadn't gone away in an extended period of time), serious. This was my KNEE.

After sitting and crying out the pain, worries and frustration, I decided to Spartan up and figure out the way over this metaphorical wall. There is always a way.

I ran my worries past the GT and a couple of other friends that know stuff and it was a universal opinion: Go get it checked out.

*gulp*

Have I mentioned that I have an irrational fear of doctors/hospitals? I avoid them at all costs, but my mobility was more important to me than my fears. I made an appointment.

As it turns out, my regular doctor was out and I got to see someone else. This particularly woman happened to be a 50 ish year old Triathlete. I felt like this boded well for the situation - to be a triathlete you have to be a little crazy and into the extreme (in my opinion), so she might understand where I was coming from.

She was wonderful. I mentioned Spartan Race and she immediately asked me if I was planning on doing the Beast in Killington ("Of course!"), and asked me if I had any other races coming up before then. She was talking to me like an *athlete*. I almost didn't know how to handle it, I won't lie. A lot of days, I still feel like that Fat Chick (Hello, FCS!), playing at fitness and training. It takes a long time to make those internal adjustments to something else.... but this woman - a serious athlete - was talking to me like a peer. When was my next race? How was I training?
Her next few words were magic to me, though. She dispelled my worst fears: "Well, you definitely don't have any tears or ruptures."

*sigh of relief* It was apparently "just" some inflamed tendons in the back of my knee. She then made me love her just a little bit more, by informing me that she could tell me to recover the slow and easy way - ice and a lot of rest, and they'd eventually calm down. But then she went on to tell me that she wouldn't do that to me in the middle of race season, and there were other ways we could get this better, as she referred me immediately off to a sports-specializing Physical Therapist.

Feeling a little lighter and a lot less worried, I hobbled home and awaited the next day's appointment with the PT.

After a lot of poking, prodding and manipulating my legs and joints, the PT came to the same conclusion. There was nothing serious or unfixable. I absolutely would not be laid up for weeks on end. But then he told me what was actually wrong (the root of the inflamed tendons).

His hypothesis was that sometime during the race I had probably (PROBABLY. Ha!) slid sideways or at just the right angle that I had sort of "sprained" my pelvis (Your pelvis is actually 3 bones, that can get displaced like any other). By screwing up the alignment in my pelvis, my left leg was 1/2 in shorter than the right leg. So, the (left) short leg was reaching and straining to keep up, resulting in the ragingly inflamed tendons.

Oddly, this made a sort of sense. The good news was (according to my PT) that my general construction and bone alignment is really good, so he didn't anticipate this being a reoccurring issue - I had just managed a perfect storm of moments to get here.

Then it got awkward. LOL. Ever had someone realign your pelvis? It's a little strange. While some of it is done with your own muscles (putting your leg in certain positions and pushing, etc.), at some point, they have to put their hands on you. Quite frankly, it is a little strange to have some old dude you just met checking the alignment of your seat bones, etc.

But I disassociated enough to get through that, and he told me to get up and walk around. Let me tell you, BlogLand, those were the most wonderful steps I'd taken in a long time. I was 90% better already. He made me step up some steps and walk back and forth, and while I could still feel that my tendons had some healing to do, they weren't pulling like crazy, the pain was negligible and I could WALK without limping. YES. Weird, but simple solution.

So, to follow up, I have to go back for a check up this week, but I am supposed to not run at all or do anything that will pull on my knee through this weekend. Just ice and rest and swimming (apparently, between the doc and the PT, swimming is a miracle cure!). Starting on Monday, if it feels okay still, I can start trying some easy runs with walking in them. Basically, as soon as or if it starts hurting, I am to stop immediately. He, like my GT, told me to be smart about it and use some good judgement.

It is really challenging though, as the weather has been wonderful (if a little hot...). I haven't really been able to go out running in 2 weeks and I feel like a wild animal in a cage. I never, EVER thought I'd say this, but I really miss it. I WANT to go for a run. Rest assured, though, I'm following directions and taking care of this... it's got to heal in the best way possible. I'm not taking any chances. After all, it's Race Season!
--------

On another note, the official countdown is on. Twelve Days until my 30th Birthday.

Wow.

I have some goals I'm shooting for, that I'm hoping to hit on that day, so the GT and I have revamped the eating plan and the workouts for the next couple of weeks to (hopefully!) crush those goals into the ground.
It may be an ugly couple of weeks, but nothing I can't or won't handle.
In prep for this, I got on the scale and took my measurements today, for the last time until my birthday. I then took a deep breath, and refocused my mind. I have faith in the process and the journey. Now is the time to just let go and do some work.

Commence the officially titled,

"Experiment in Being More Awesome."