Spartan Shape-Up, Day 237:
Hey there, BlogLand.
I'm tired tonight, and feeling a bit out of it. I made the mistake of getting on the scale yesterday, and was not pleased with what I saw. I *know* it's not about that number, and I know I just came back from a vacation, and I know all the things I'm supposed to say here.... but it doesn't mean I'm not a little disappointed. It's up. That's all there is to it. I've taken a step backward. Argh.
I think I find that even more frustrating, because I'm nervous about the impending race season. I'm really struggling to see progress, I'm feeling like I've not made the strides I'd hoped to make by this point, and I'm worried I'm going to look stupid and/or unprepared and/or totally out of my league.
Granted, I know this is probably all a complete over reaction, but it is what it is (welcome to the honesty blog).
I know I need to push harder, but my brain is getting in the way again. I'm trying to shut it up and keep it out of the way, but some days are better than others. Today has not been so good.
Allow me to share my FB'ing from this morning. This was a reality check that I needed:
Me: "Alright Muscles, you win (this time!), I am officially too sore to head to CrossFit. Bleh. Off to stretch, roll and breakfast...
Thankfully, I have some people in my life, ready to call me out on stuff like that, and here's what I got from Todd:
Todd: "That's bullshit and you know it. Do I have to come up there again!?"
I had already missed CF, because I was legit really sore... but Todd's comment got me thinking. It WAS bullshit. There was no reason I didn't go, other than my own stupidness. Some days, I guess you'll have that. I guess, right now, I'm just needing *something* to help me on this journey, and I'm not sure what it is.
I am self propelled, I am moving forward, I'm still looking ahead and holding myself accountable.... but I guess I need a little more support, somehow. Rather than babble about this for a while, I'm going to stop there and formulate some more coherent thoughts on that, for later... but, just know, BlogLand, even the best of us have some really sucky days.
That said, I killed a WOD, as a sacrifice to the Cosmos, hoping to let me feel a little better about all this. Today's WOD was the same as a couple days ago, but I did an extra round. I wanted to die (didn't), but I needed that push. I needed it to be HARD.
It went like this:
(8 reps each, 4 total rounds, 25# dumbbells)
Over head Presses,
Romanian Dead Lift
And then, just for good measure, I did 45 push ups. 45 because that is "Day 1" of the Hundred Pushups Challenge, for me. I was able to download an app on my phone, and I figured that was as good a way as any to motivate myself to do a bit more upper body stuff.
I still am pretty sore from the last few days exertions, but tomorrow morning I'm going for a run -real early- so that I can go with a new-runner buddy that lives a short jog away. So, off to bed with me, hopefully to find some more positivity in the sun rise tomorrow...