Wednesday, May 23, 2012

The beginning is the most important part of the work. - Plato

Spartan Shape-Up, Day 308:

So, today became a Rest Day, BlogLand. I couldn't sleep to save my life last night and when I did, nightmares abound. I've pretty much spent my entire life trying to find non-chemical solutions to this sleeping disorder of mine, but pretty much, when the stress comes down, the sleep gets screwed up.

I woke up this morning feeling just beat up. (I've been averaging 4-5 hours of "sleep" a night for the last couple of days...) I was supposed to go to CrossFit this morning, but when the alarm went off, there was no way. I could've willed my self there for 6am, but to be honest, it wouldn't have been good for anyone, or my body. I went back to sleep.

However, today, I've got some new things to think about and focus on. After posing my current concerns, doubts and questions to the GT yesterday, he came back to me today with his usual, rational perspective.

As I told you yesterday, BlogLand, I lost my mind a little bit about not losing any weight, not progressing in my training, and every little thing in between. The stress made some little concerns into giant impossible mountains to be scaled. I'm sure many of you, who have embarked upon long journey's can relate here... when you start looking at how far you still have to go - particularly when it's negative light - it becomes overwhelming.

Thankfully, I have a GT who can read between the lines of my freak outs and inject a little calm, sanity. In response to my comments about not losing weight, he reminded me that according to my measurement tracking, I'd lost a total of 2 inches over all in the last month. So, maybe no weight loss, but perhaps I was gaining muscle (which would account for the INCREASE in the size of my calves. Greeaaat. Lol.).  Okay. 2 inches lost. That does sound a lot better than "OMGIhaven'tlostanyweightWAAAaa...." and the other things I was throwing at him and the rest of the universe. He reminded me to think about the way things were fitting. And if this was a plateau, we'd just keep plugging away until we got it moving again. Complete lack of panic, complete confidence in the process. It is difficult to not believe someone addressing you like that.

I shut up, listened and got ready to follow directions. It sounds like we're getting ready to change up my program a little to accommodate for the season's crazy race schedule, and target some new goals. However, in order to do this, apparently, we need a little more hard and fast data to analyze. In light of this, I was given a couple new tasks:

1) Wear a pedometer for the rest of the week (to acquire a baseline activity level... which ought to be awesome, considering I'm literally attached to my desk 8 hours a day by a cord.).

2) When completing my food log, which I've been doing already, we need more specific data. Anything with a label, I am to record Protein, Fat and Carbs. Also, I busted out my food scale, to help in the accuracy of portion measurement.

Argh. BlogLand, I HATE the nutrition piece of things. My inner Fat Chick stomps around inside me like a two year old with a broken toy, at the mere mention of having to track my food intake like that. It makes it feel like Weight Watchers or something like that all over again. Like a "Diet." Although, this would be a good time to remind myself that I was pretty successful when I was tracking appropriately on WW. So... starting tomorrow, I track. Protein, Fat, Carbs on anything with a label. I kind of want to die, but I'm trying to keep a positive spin on things. What's harder - tracking some additional data and being mindful of what I eat, or living continually frustrated with the spare tire around my middle?

As I always come back to, BlogLand, your success is a CHOICE. If you decide that you want it bad enough, you will stick to that decision and make the changes that need to happen. I decided long ago that I didn't want to keep living my life on that same track, and I intended to change it and chase down a new goal. Once you commit to a decision, it is simpler to follow through. Right now, to reach my goals, I *need* to track my food appropriately. It's not for the rest of my life, or until the end of time, but for a finite period of time, while we establish what I could be doing better. Hell, who knows, maybe I'm not eating ENOUGH (a girl can dream!).

With that, I'm off to hit the pillow and try to log more than 5 hours of shut-eye tonight. Tomorrow is a day for refocus and getting my head back in the game. Even if that means spinning around all the boxes and jars to note all the labels.

Spartan Up, and get it done.

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