Wednesday, February 15, 2012

"It is confidence in our bodies, minds and spirits that allows us to keep looking for new adventures, new directions to grow in, and new lessons to learn - which is what life is all about." ~Oprah

Spartan Shape-Up, Day 209:

Happy Valentine's Day, BlogLand!

I did my best to remain blissfully neutral about this holiday, this year. As a hopeless romantic, it is a veritable tragedy to be alone on such a day. In recent history, it's been... not everything I wanted it to be. However, in keeping with the Life Transformation I've been working on for the last 209 days, I really wanted to try and turn that around this year. I didn't want to say that I was going to be "happy", but I wanted to appreciate what I did have a little more, and love the person that I am as an individual.

Confession time! I don't have a WOD to report on today. Nope. I went to get out of bed for a run this morning, and I'm pretty sure my quads were still seized from last night's inadvertent cycling adventures. I got up and stretched. And stretched some more... and decided that MAYBE a run wasn't going to be the best plan, if I ever wanted to walk again. More stretching. And breakfast. Om nom nom.

Then I went off to work. Being a Chocolate-Candy-Coated holiday, it was sugar and sweets and candy and cupcakes, etc. EVERYWHERE. Literally. There was a cupcake with M&M's on it ON my desk when I got there, and shortly thereafter, my boss came around with goodie bags for everyone filled with Reese's cups, beautiful strawberry cupcakes with pink swirl frosting, and twizzlers. OH my. Then someone else brought in brownies. Some Andes mints.... and the list goes on. Seriously, it reached ridiculous proportions.

.... I tried. I ate one bite of the brownie. I licked the frosting off the cupcakes (the frosting is the best part). I gave away some of my candy.

I think I still ate more sugar/general crap today than I have in the last 6 months put together. Subsequently, I feel like BLEEEH. (imagine that). I recognize this as Old Me's previous state of being... but Me 2.0 is like, EWWww. Seriously. Where is my lean protein and veg.
Don't get me wrong, BlogLand... I still eat that stuff, here and there. I love to bake. I adore chocolate.... but not in those kind of proportions. And what I had today, really, was nothing like the amounts I could've put back at various times.
Now, I feel sick. Ew.

HOWEVER. Today is all about Love. SO... with that reflection, I would like to tip my hat to the ladies over at the Spartan Chicks FB Group. The idea today was to post current body shots of oneself in their spandex - LOVE the skin you're in.  Basically, no matter what size, shape or place in your journey you are at, how alone you are at Valentine's day, or whatever the case may be.... take a good look at yourself and realize that you're some kind of awesome, and perfectly imperfect. Really take stock of the hard work you've put in and SEE the changes (not just gloss them over by focusing on the "trouble spots").

I'm not going to lie, BlogLand. I find what I'm about to do a little more than terrifying. I'm going to post my pictures for you. But, I figure hey... I can't just preach to you how you should do it, without taking my own advice. *gulp*

Valentine's Day, Self Appreciation, 02/14/2012

 So.... There you have it. That feels horribly exposing, probably because I've spent 90% of my life being told (by society, etc.) that I wasn't good enough. I was too fat, too tall, not pretty, SOMEthing. 
I've spent the better part of the last year trying to retrain myself into not being scared of walking into a gym, taking up crossfit, or entering a race, for fear of being judged, looked down upon,or being the slow kid dragging everyone down.
... but I have done all those things. Because I've done all those things, I've lost over 80#, am refinding myself and my love of life, and learning to appreciate my new, *strong* body. 
I'll never be a tiny, delicate person... but you know what? Crossfitting with some cool people has taught me to appreciate my crazy tree trunk thighs - they make squatting easier. My giant hands have better grip on the weight bars. My height makes those box jumps a little easier. 
It's all in how you look at it, BlogLand. I still see a LOT of my journey still left to go.... but I am starting to at least be able to appreciate how far I have come. Nope, there's no abs in those pictures above... YET. But you know what? Those guns up there are learning to do a pull up. (Have you bought your tickets to this Gun Show? BAM! hahaha)

This year, I dedicate my Valentine's Day to my body and where it's going to take me. As gifts I'll fuel you with healthy food (mostly), and for our next date, I heard that CrossFit was having an excellent class.... Body, you and me are in it together for the long haul. I suppose it's time we learn to accept our differences. 

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