"You must have long term goals to keep you from being frustrated by short term failures." - Charles C. Noble

Spartan Shape-Up, Day 153:

Run Day today, BlogLand. I was feeling a little stiff in the hamstrings from doing T-Handle swings and Thrusters yesterday... but my head was not in the game. I am an entirely emotionally driven personality, and when those emotions are heightened (say by the really excessive amount of stress that's come down on me in the last few days...), I struggle. I handle external stress well... but when it is about my home life, my family, etc. it effects things.  Like my usually can-do, will-do, get-after-it mood.

I have big goals on my plate, that I want to achieve. Intellectually, I'm there. Emotionally, I feel myself checking out a bit right now, and I'm trying to fight that. Hard. Can. NOT. let myself get in that funk of downward spiral back to Old Me. NOT going to happen. Just the particular sequence of events that's happened has made that a very big battle.

I recognized this in myself this morning, and did the sensible thing - I asked for help (this right here has been a huge step in this year's evolution). To paraphrase: Dear GT, I need solid directions for today's WOD, as I am not able to self-propel. What should I do to fight today's battle?

A hill he says. What better way to fight yourself, than to beast up a hill. Sure, the WOD wouldn't be as long... but a good long run up a hill ought to tire me out a bit, draining some of that ridiculous mental energy.

The assignment: Find a long slow hill. Maybe a mile long. Run it. If it's shorter than that, do it twice. Warm up with a mile run, to said hill.

That seemed doable. A shorter distance than usual, but a new challenge to mix up my mind.

I mulled over what hill to conquer and finally settled on a long, slow incline (with really unpleasant little extra step ups in elevation), which turned out to be about .91 miles. I ran around my warm up mile, trying to warm up my legs a little bit, focus on my breathing, and get my head in the game. Then onto the hill. My goal: Steady Pace, up the whole thing.
I am happy to report I plowed up that bad boy like a champ. Under a ten minute mile pace, and one foot in front of the other. Head down against the wind (and not looking at how much further to go), I just kept running. I think I tried to outrun some of the stress, and stomp it into the sidewalk, as before I knew it, I had gotten to the top. Granted, my over exuberant effort left me panting (tempted to go to hands on knees panting...), but it felt good. OWNED that. I could at least control that little tiny piece of my life.

With that, I came across this picture, today, that really spoke to me. It is not about what I am lacking.... it is about the fact that I am better than I was yesterday.

So, that said, I don't really have much in the way of stats for today's run.... it was just under 25 minutes and 2miles..... but I stopped once or twice to take a picture of the hill I ran up (although I couldn't get one that really captured the hill...). It was a good mental diversion though.

Tomorrow, I'm forcing myself to Crossfit. I'm waning. I don't want to. My bed seems like a better plan. But I will go to CF. I know that is the right choice, and I will feel better after I do that. I just need to get my sneakers on.

Stay Tuned, BlogLand...